FAMILY MATTERS
INTRODUCTION
Families are the backbone of society; societies literally stand or fall under
the strength or weakness of and value or disregard for their family units. Nationwide, both within the church and
without, the family is in grave danger. More
than half of all first-time marriages end in divorce, and the numbers rise
significantly with subsequent marriages, leaving both husbands and wives
emotionally and spiritually wounded and children (if any) in broken homes.
The Lord values our marriages and families.
He designed the covenant of marriage before He created the world. The world, itself, depends on the institutions of marriage
and family for continued life and generation.
If God, Himself, so values our marriage and family, we as husbands and
wives, fathers and mothers, should also value its well-being and preservation.
Studies have shown that divorce rates among Christians are as high as those
among non-Christians. The only
variable that lowers divorce rates among believers is that of faithful and
regular prayer time; Christian couples who pray together are more likely to beat
the odds and have “divorce-proof” marriages.
Given the fact that these couples pray together, we can safely assume
that their marriages are both committed and yielded to Christ. Pastor Jack Hayford, of the Church on the Way in California,
has preached countless sermons and written several books and articles on the
subject of Kingdom Vision. Developing
Kingdom Vision isn’t limited to the here and now. As applied to marriage, it means looking beyond, unto
eternity, and God’s unique plan for each marriage He creates and sustains. Pastor Hayford has often described
Kingdom Vision as much like looking through the lens of a kaleidoscope. Sometimes the picture doesn’t make
sense, but it is always beautiful, and when an image finally comes into view, we
get a glimpse of an overall picture. God’s
picture is often blurry to us; after all, the Bible says that even the
foolishness of God is wiser than men (1 Corinthians 1:25). But God, whose wisdom is infinite, and
whose vision is eternal, foreknows the value of our marriages, not only to the
world and civilization, but to His overall and eternal plan and purpose.
When my husband, Brian, and I were first married, we determined not to follow
in the footsteps of our counterparts, whose marriages ended in divorce, often
within the first few years of marriage. We
were a very young couple, though, and our first year together soon proved to be
a struggle for sheer survival. Not
only were we adjusting to marriage, but also to adulthood, life in the “real
world”, and that meant a whole new set of issues we hadn’t been prepared
for: finances, my new role as manager of our home, Brian’s work pressures and
deadlines, finances, finances, and finances.
Because we knew that the number one cause of divorce was financial
incongruity, we put forth extra effort in that area to avoid conflict, but we,
too, fell prey to the bitter fights regarding finances, and on several
occasions, mainly in fear and anger, I shouted across the room my intent to
locate an attorney and start divorce proceedings. At that time, I wasn’t a Christian, and Brian, who was a
Christian, wasn’t walking closely with the Lord. We were in the here and now; we didn’t even consider the
possibility that God might have an eternal plan for our marriage.
As our first year of marriage gave way to our second year of marriage and the
(surprise) announcement that we were going to have a baby, we were at last bound
by a bigger priority, one outside of ourselves: the concern for and commitment
to our baby-to-be. Parenthood
forged a new relationship between Brian and me: one based in partnership. A few years later, we had three children
and one on the way before I came to know Jesus Christ as my Savior and Brian
re-committed his life to Him. It
was at that point that we finally developed the Kingdom Vision necessary for a
God-ordained marriage and we yielded to the Lord’s plan for our God-given
ministries to one another and to our children.
In the following chapters, and in subsequent newsletters, we will look more
closely at some Biblical truths for marriage and family, specifically the role
of the wife, the role of the husband, Biblical principles for marriage, and
parenthood: forging a new partnership.
